HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

As another year comes to a close, I find myself thinking about how blessed I have been . Things were pretty scary at the beginning of 2010. My future was so uncertain.
I now have 1 year as a cansir warrior under my belt. A lot of people use the word survivor, but I am still fighting so I think warrior is a better word. I have had the honor of meeting many more people just like me. They all have their own story to tell , some are very young and some are very old. Some of them talk to me, some won't, some think I am crazy. LOL!!! However, no matter what their circumstance I have learned so much from these brave people. I met a sweet lady during my radiation treatments who herself was diagnosed with breast cansir 3 years ago, the same year , her daughter was diagnosed with breast cansir and now her sweet husband is battling kidney cansir. I am lucky, she has been to hell and back. I have learned so much about myself this year. I have also learned that I have so many people that really love me. I am looking forward to 2011 with an anxious anticipation. I am so excited about the future . I am living my life 1 day at a time and hope to be the best person I can be for each one of them. So have the Happiest New Year that you can. I am going to.  Sending Love & Light your way.. xoxoxo..

Merry Christmas

I just want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. It has been 1 year since my dx. It has not been an easy one, but I must say, it has not been as as bad as you would imagine. I am still here and able to work and take care of my family. Which is more than I can say about some of my friends with this disease. One of the women that I have had chemo with since the beginning died a couple of weeks ago.  She had the same kind of cancer as me. You know the statistics say that 1 out of 5 people with stage IV breast cansir will not make the 5 year mark. Wow!!!! 5 years does not seem long enough.( I know cansir is spelled wrong , but I read that spelling it wrong takes away some of it's power.) I am determined to be here at least 20 years from now. New treatments are being developed every day and I pray that in my lifetime there will be a cure. As of right now, I am still in remission, YAY!!!! I had a great report from my oncologist on Fri. We will know more about the brain mets in Feb, when I have a new scan. I hope those suckers are gone! That was the weirdest thing I have ever experienced. I felt like I was walking around on Mars. If any of you had a crazy conversation with me, I apologize. My head is feeling much better now.
HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY& ENJOY EVERY MINUTE!!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!

Oh my, where do I start. I cannot tell begin to tell you how thankful I am this year. For starters, I still here and starting to feel like my old self again. I finished  my radiation tx this morning and am so happy that is over. I  photographed 2 sessions today that were amazing. I just love my clients. My little boy looks up and just randomly says mommy , you are so cute!!! LOL!!!I know he was just trying to get his way, but I will remember that one forever. My husband still is and continues to be amazing throughout this. Did I mention how mean I have been .. Wow!!! he is really patient. So here it goes I am so thankful for.. God and all of the blessings in my life, my husband, my wonderful family, my friends, my sweet dog, my doctors, the sun, the moon, the rain, the trees, babies, children the bible, music, grass , flowers, chocolate, birthday cake, canon cameras, awesome lenses, all of my photographer friends, FPP, bright beginnings preschool., chemotherapy, radiation I could go on & on.
Here's wishing all you a wonderful and Blessed Thanksgiving... Love & Hugs,, Me

Feeling A Little Better

Wow, what a difference a couple of weeks make. I finally feel like I can do more than 1 thing at a time. That brain stuff is freaky.  I was and am still kind of shocked at how much it took out of me. I am finally getting some work done
For those of you that have known me for a while know how much of a workaholic I am. This little episode of my life has forced me to slow way down and realize that it is okay if I am not busy every single second of every day.  I am looking forward to a peaceful holiday season.
I just wanted to take a second to update, I am so hopeful that after my doctors appt. today, I  will be able to stop taking these steroids.  I can't wait to have my face back. LOL!!!!!
Have a love filled day. Find something that makes you the happiest and spend some time.  Sending Love & Light.

An Observation

Every day for the past 3 weeks I have attended some type of doctors appointment. Have you ever just sat and watched the people around you.  As I was waiting to have my therapy this morning I was watching all of the other people that have cancer too. There was a lovely couple sitting at the puzzle table, not saying a word to one another, but I could from across the room feel the love they had for each other. They were probably in their mid 60's. She was dressed in a hospital gown, so I am assuming that she was the sick one. I swear that I could feel his worry for her. They just sat there worked on the puzzle and enjoyed the moment. There is another man I also see every day. he cannot walk into therapy on his own and every day he has to wait for someone or a bus to pick him up when he is finished.  I am so lucky that i can still get there on my own.
Radiation therapy reminds me of a symphony. I lay on this table while the green and red lasers line themselves up with my body. There is always beautiful music playing. The lights from the green lasers do a little light show on the ceiling. Then quiet and you can hear the treatment. Only about 5 minutes and it is finished.  It is really kind of surreal.
I am always thinking about the other people that I have met since this all started. I hope and pray that many of them are still fighting and well, but I also worry when I don't see them . I wonder how their treatments are going or if they are going to make it.
Just an observation...

A Time to Rest & Pray

I have decided to take the next few weeks for some well needed rest and spiritual soul searching. I feel as if the Lord has been trying to get my attention for quite some time now. Thank goodness he is patient.  He has blessed my life in ways that I never thought were possible. I have been blessed with wonderful husband of 20 years, a beautiful boy that was born in a land that I never knew anything about until I got him.. A life experience that has taught how to love and be patient and kind. I have been surrounded by people that love me and would do anything to help me if I  would let them. I want to Thank everyone for helping to get over this hump. Joanna and Robin, you guys are amazing. thank you so much for caring about me so much. I know it hasn't been the easiest commmunicating with my craziness lately. Thank you to my wonderful, understanding clients and friends. You guys rock and have made my dream job, so amazing and fun. Here is another devtional from my favorite book.
FOCUS YOUR ENTIRE BEING on My living Presence. I am most assuredly with you, enveloping you in My Love and Peace. While you Relax in My Presence, I am molding your mind and cleansing your heart. I am recreating you into the one I designed you to be. As you move from stillness into the activities of your day, do not relinquish your attentiveness to Me. If something troubles you, talk it over with Me. If you get bored with what you are doing, fill your time with prayers and praise. When someone irritates you, don't let your thoughts linger on that person's faults. Gently nudge your mind back to me. Every moment is precious if you keep your fous on Me. Any day can be a good day, because My Presence permeates all time.
PSALM 89:15 1JOHN 3:19-20  JUDE 24-25  PSALM 41:12

MOSH PIT ANYONE

Although I have never experienced a mosh pit in person, I can only imagine how one must feel when the party is over. YAK!!!!  That is pretty much the way I am feeling today.  The lovely steroids that I  am taking to keep my brain swelling to minimum has caused me to gain 8 lbs in 2 weeks.  I also cannot sleep. I  hate to be a downer, but this has been probably one of the roughest weeks for me since this cancer stuff started.  Last week I had 2 brain scans with contrast, more x rays during the radiation surgery to my brain. Plus 5 radiation treatments to my thgoracic and lumbar spine. The grand finale was yesterday with a 2 hour chemotherapy treatment and let's not forget the wonderful faslodex shot to send my 46 year old body flying into menopause. OK, that's it for today. I promise I will not whine anymore. I am planning on getting back to work this week and trying to regain some type of normal in my life. I am hopeful that 3 weeks from now when my spinal radiation treatments are over that  I will feel much better. Until then I will keep up this fight. I will win this battle one way or another.  Sending Love & Light....