Monday, July 29, 2013

Life & living with cansir..

  The past few weeks have been a blur. My brother at the age of 53 passed away from cansir. (lymphoma) What is so crazy is that we never knew he had it. We knew he was having some health issues but never imagined how sick he really was. 9 days after he was admitted to the hospital he passed . . I  couldn't go to hospice and see him that way. At around 4:30 in the morning the alarm clock in my hotel room went off. I received the call a few minutes later that he had passed. I know it sounds crazy but that was him telling me goodbye. I think we are all still in shock. I think everyone was expecting me to be the first one from  our family to go. Life is so unpredictable. I miss my brother . I am so happy that is pain is over. A couple of days before he passed he accepted Christ as his savior and for that I am thankful. I feel a little better knowing that he is now one of my guardian angels.
On my cansir front I am still fighting the fight.  Currently I am still battling these nasty brain mets and my original tumor has come back in my breast. However with this news I have also learned that all of the tumors in my liver are gone. ((YAY))!! I have been lucky enough to start on one of the new Herceptin drugs. (kadcyla) . I had my first infusion last week and it kicked my butt. If it works it will be worth it. I think maybe a mastectomy is in my near future. I never had one in the beginning because my cansir was so widespread it probably wouldn't have made a difference. Now I only have 1 tumor in my body, my oncologist seems to think that is what seeds the brain mets. So we will make that decision in a couple of weeks.
That's about all that is happening in my life at the moment. I try to strike a balance between being a wife, a mother, a business owner and a cansir patient. It sucks a lot. But there are times when  I just feel like me and those are the times I live for.
Sending Love, Hugs & Light......